My husband took me to Bob Evans for lunch on Mother's Day, and I saw someone I knew there with his wife. When I saw him at work later, I commented that it was nice to see another husband being good to his wife, and his response was, "Well, I guess once a year is enough."
My dander was up immediately, and I told him that if I heard that my husband talked to other people that way about me, I would slap him upside the head. (Figuratively, of course. If you knew my husband, you would also know how strong and quick he is. I am pretty sure he would catch my hand on the way to his head and that would be the end of that. But you know what I mean.)
Anyway, this man went on to say how he hardly had the money to take his wife out because she spends it as soon as he brings it home. "All that overtime," he sighed, "and she gave it away."
I am not going to say that I have never taken money from my husband's wallet, but I do have access. I always ask first, and I can't remember a time when my husband has said no. This seems like common courtesy to me. I began to wonder why, in some marriages, it is the wife and not the husband who controls the money. Shouldn't it be the spouse who does the better job of controlling?
My husband has a theory that men need women to bug (notice that I did not say nag) into doing the things they need to do. He says he is sure he is healthier because he is married to me, and he thinks he is better-mannered as well. There are a lot of things I want him to do that he just doesn't feel with the urgency that I do, and I try to let those things slide and concentrate on what is really important. So maybe in those other marriages, the money isn't that important. I don't know. It was important enough for the husband to sigh over.
I think wives have to be careful with the control they have over their husbands. We only have that "control"(for lack of a better word) because they love us, so we should be careful to use it for our mutual good and not just for ourselves. The struggle with trying to decide this goes back, I think, to Adam and Eve. Did Eve want Adam to be the best that he could be, or did she just want to be like God and drag him along with her into sin? And this morning I read about Ahab and Jezebel. Ahab pouted because he wanted a vineyard that the owner would not give to him, but he would have left well enough alone had it not been for Jezebel. She used his power as king to manipulate the death of the vineyard's owner and brought God's judgment on both her husband and herself.
I do not sit in judgment on anyone else's marriage, mostly because I think the way things play out depends a lot on the personalities and backgrounds of the people involved. When I see things go awry, however, I am reminded to examine my own actions and make sure they consider my husband's well-being as well as my own.
My dander was up immediately, and I told him that if I heard that my husband talked to other people that way about me, I would slap him upside the head. (Figuratively, of course. If you knew my husband, you would also know how strong and quick he is. I am pretty sure he would catch my hand on the way to his head and that would be the end of that. But you know what I mean.)
Anyway, this man went on to say how he hardly had the money to take his wife out because she spends it as soon as he brings it home. "All that overtime," he sighed, "and she gave it away."
I am not going to say that I have never taken money from my husband's wallet, but I do have access. I always ask first, and I can't remember a time when my husband has said no. This seems like common courtesy to me. I began to wonder why, in some marriages, it is the wife and not the husband who controls the money. Shouldn't it be the spouse who does the better job of controlling?
My husband has a theory that men need women to bug (notice that I did not say nag) into doing the things they need to do. He says he is sure he is healthier because he is married to me, and he thinks he is better-mannered as well. There are a lot of things I want him to do that he just doesn't feel with the urgency that I do, and I try to let those things slide and concentrate on what is really important. So maybe in those other marriages, the money isn't that important. I don't know. It was important enough for the husband to sigh over.
I think wives have to be careful with the control they have over their husbands. We only have that "control"(for lack of a better word) because they love us, so we should be careful to use it for our mutual good and not just for ourselves. The struggle with trying to decide this goes back, I think, to Adam and Eve. Did Eve want Adam to be the best that he could be, or did she just want to be like God and drag him along with her into sin? And this morning I read about Ahab and Jezebel. Ahab pouted because he wanted a vineyard that the owner would not give to him, but he would have left well enough alone had it not been for Jezebel. She used his power as king to manipulate the death of the vineyard's owner and brought God's judgment on both her husband and herself.
I do not sit in judgment on anyone else's marriage, mostly because I think the way things play out depends a lot on the personalities and backgrounds of the people involved. When I see things go awry, however, I am reminded to examine my own actions and make sure they consider my husband's well-being as well as my own.
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1 Comments:
I would not say that the person who is more controlling with money should be "in charge." That would lead someone to believe that they are a dictator of sorts. I would say that the more responsible or frugal spouse should be in charge of the day to day expenses.
Beth and I consult each other on every charge over $100 and any time that we plan to spend money that we had not budgeted to spend. It is a good thing we have cell phones, or we would never get the shopping done.
Doing this is a pain in the butt. However, in the four years that we have been married, we have eliminated literally tens of thousands of dollars worth of debt along with preparing a "cushion" to sustain us through hard times. Neither of us could have done this alone.
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