A lady I know told me in conversation yesterday that 38 years ago, her mom said she did not want any grandchildren, an idea which I find hard to comprehend. I do understand her reason, though. She asked her children how they could possibly consider bringing children into a world as evil as this world has become.
I remember hearing the adults talk about the "good old days" when I was younger and rolling my eyes, but now that I have reached the half-century mark, I too remember those days fondly. Some aspects of them were, I think, better than things are today. For instance, I walked home for lunch during all of elementary school. An hour and fifteen minutes, even in winter, was plenty of time to traverse the half mile each way, eat my lunch, and take time out from my school day. We only got a few television stations, but big deal! I think that in general we played outside a lot more.
On the other hand, there were a lot of medical things that killed people then and don't kill them now. A teacher just seven years older than I am remembers being taken out of class to receive her polio vaccine. That came along when I was a baby, so I don't remember any of my agemates having polio, but she does. So do my older brother and sister. Also, reproduction was still sort of a mystery compared to the way it is today. The toxemia I had during the time I was carrying my oldest child (in 1978, not nearly as long ago as the polio vaccine) might well have killed us both the decade before. As it was, I was hospitalized, his birth was induced, and both of us were healthy.
And we felt safe in our neighborhoods as well. My boundaries were the emergency fire box, which I called the "red pole" and the mailbox. As long as I stayed within these boundaries and came in when the streetlights came on, my parents really didn't worry about me. Because I was within hearing distance? Maybe. Or maybe because they knew their closest neighbors and pretty much everyone in the neighborhood had the same family values.
I think of this because of an experience I had at the kindergarten lunch table yesterday. I sit there every day because my student needs help manipulating his lunch, and what they do is often amusing. The little girls like to come up and bat my earrings when I wear dangly ones, and yesterday they had fish noodles in their chicken noodle soup, so they were busy swallowing the ocean. Also yesterday, though, the little boy sitting across from me was crying and leaving his food untouched. These kids are in all-day kindergarten, so lunch is sort of important. When I asked him what was the matter, he told me that he wasn't going to eat because he couldn't sit next to one of the girls in his class.
These kinds of things start so soon! There are twelve little boys in this class and only three girls. It was not so long ago that this same boy was crying because one of the girls said she would not dance with him. Is this an appropriate worry for a six year old?
One of the lunch aids has been around for thirty-five years, and she said she never hears about boys (or girls) having "cooties" like they did when we were growing up. I agree with her that the kids probably have seen too much. In our technologically advanced society, if we speed up the social things as well, when can a kid just be a kid?
I have had great fun watching my eldest grandson, who will be three in September, learn. The most fun, I think, is when he does typical kid things. The other day he
had on his daddy's shirt and decided that he WAS daddy, even to the point of addressing his dad by his own name! Pretend play is important, I know, but so is the context of it. If our children pretend about grown-up things like which girl likes them, will they miss playing pirate or school or some things that might benefit them more?
I do worry about things like this for my grandchildren, both the two that I have now and the ones that I hope to have. I want them to be well-rounded little people, and I have been pleased at the way my son and his wife have handled their boys. They watch their language around them, and they try to monitor what they see on TV and listen to. When my grandsons go off to school, though, the effects of home will be diluted somewhat, and their environments will have more of an influence on their lives.
I don't think I would ever have said I didn't want grandchildren like my friend's mom did, but I do sort of see her point. Kids have a lot to deal with in the world today. Things are always changing. The adults who bring babies into the world need to be aware of the responsibilities involved in raising them.
I remember hearing the adults talk about the "good old days" when I was younger and rolling my eyes, but now that I have reached the half-century mark, I too remember those days fondly. Some aspects of them were, I think, better than things are today. For instance, I walked home for lunch during all of elementary school. An hour and fifteen minutes, even in winter, was plenty of time to traverse the half mile each way, eat my lunch, and take time out from my school day. We only got a few television stations, but big deal! I think that in general we played outside a lot more.
On the other hand, there were a lot of medical things that killed people then and don't kill them now. A teacher just seven years older than I am remembers being taken out of class to receive her polio vaccine. That came along when I was a baby, so I don't remember any of my agemates having polio, but she does. So do my older brother and sister. Also, reproduction was still sort of a mystery compared to the way it is today. The toxemia I had during the time I was carrying my oldest child (in 1978, not nearly as long ago as the polio vaccine) might well have killed us both the decade before. As it was, I was hospitalized, his birth was induced, and both of us were healthy.
And we felt safe in our neighborhoods as well. My boundaries were the emergency fire box, which I called the "red pole" and the mailbox. As long as I stayed within these boundaries and came in when the streetlights came on, my parents really didn't worry about me. Because I was within hearing distance? Maybe. Or maybe because they knew their closest neighbors and pretty much everyone in the neighborhood had the same family values.
I think of this because of an experience I had at the kindergarten lunch table yesterday. I sit there every day because my student needs help manipulating his lunch, and what they do is often amusing. The little girls like to come up and bat my earrings when I wear dangly ones, and yesterday they had fish noodles in their chicken noodle soup, so they were busy swallowing the ocean. Also yesterday, though, the little boy sitting across from me was crying and leaving his food untouched. These kids are in all-day kindergarten, so lunch is sort of important. When I asked him what was the matter, he told me that he wasn't going to eat because he couldn't sit next to one of the girls in his class.
These kinds of things start so soon! There are twelve little boys in this class and only three girls. It was not so long ago that this same boy was crying because one of the girls said she would not dance with him. Is this an appropriate worry for a six year old?
One of the lunch aids has been around for thirty-five years, and she said she never hears about boys (or girls) having "cooties" like they did when we were growing up. I agree with her that the kids probably have seen too much. In our technologically advanced society, if we speed up the social things as well, when can a kid just be a kid?
I have had great fun watching my eldest grandson, who will be three in September, learn. The most fun, I think, is when he does typical kid things. The other day he
had on his daddy's shirt and decided that he WAS daddy, even to the point of addressing his dad by his own name! Pretend play is important, I know, but so is the context of it. If our children pretend about grown-up things like which girl likes them, will they miss playing pirate or school or some things that might benefit them more?
I do worry about things like this for my grandchildren, both the two that I have now and the ones that I hope to have. I want them to be well-rounded little people, and I have been pleased at the way my son and his wife have handled their boys. They watch their language around them, and they try to monitor what they see on TV and listen to. When my grandsons go off to school, though, the effects of home will be diluted somewhat, and their environments will have more of an influence on their lives.
I don't think I would ever have said I didn't want grandchildren like my friend's mom did, but I do sort of see her point. Kids have a lot to deal with in the world today. Things are always changing. The adults who bring babies into the world need to be aware of the responsibilities involved in raising them.
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