4/18/2005

The Coward's Cross
I heard a story in a sermon yesterday that I hope I can do justice. It goes like this:

There was a man that was really enthralled with trapeze artists and how they let go with one hand and grab the next swing. He wanted to try his hand at their art, and finally, he got the chance.

His first problem was that he was afraid of heights. The trapeze artists very patiently lowered their swings and their platforms again and again until finally they were only ten feet off the ground. The man felt that he was ready.

He looked good at first. He left the platform and grabbed onto the first swing. When the second swing was in his grasp, he reached for it and caught it. He was elated! Then came the second problem. He couldn't bring himself to let go of the first swing. There he hung, a swing in either hand, on sort of a "coward's cross."

This kind of cross has, unfortunately, characterized my Christian walk far more often than I like to admit. I look ahead, but I am afraid to let go of what I am leaving behind. I was not happy about leaving Ohio and moving to Indiana, but I have found a life and friends here. I was not happy when my body would no longer do what I needed it to do, but surprisingly, life has gone on.

I have heard this described another way, too. Picture yourself standing on a cliff in your Christian walk. There is a way ahead, but to get there, you HAVE to jump and either trust God to teach you to fly or to cushion your landing. There have been a lot of times when I needed to be pushed off that cliff.

The sermon I heard yesterday was talking about spiritual health. In order to be healthy, to grow in your Christian walk, sometimes you have to let go. May God grant all of us the grace to recognize those situations so we can become the people He designed us to be.

When I was a little girl, I was better at this. I memorized the 23rd psalm when I went to Bible School that year. Later on, I had my tonsils out, and although I do not remember this, a story was written about my hospital stay that later appeared in the church newsletter, and I have it. At that time, a tonsillectomy meant a couple days in the hospital, and I was on a children's ward. Evidently, one of the nurses heard me comforting another patient, telling her that she would be OK, that even if her mommy and daddy weren't with her, Jesus was.

Why do I need to be reminded so often now?

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