Today, my Bible reading was in Deuteronomy, Chapters 8-10. In those chapters, Moses reminds the people of Israel how God has taken care of them and how they rebelled anyway. As much as I would like knowing that I am NOT rebellious, such is not the case. I am no better.
After I read my Bible, I went to school to tutor one of my students and then on to the rheumatologist in Indianapolis. He recently increased my medication so that it costs almost six thousand dollars every eight weeks. That doesn't matter so much right now because I have good insurance, but come September I will have the good old 80/20 kind, and twenty percent of that sum, not counting the monthly blood tests, is a LOT of money.
So, after the doc checked my joints and told me he was upping one of the cheaper DMARDs which he had lowered because it messed with my white blood count, I asked him if it was possible to have this disease without going bankrupt. He didn't answer. Instead, he proceeded to tell me how the meds had lowered my C-reactive protein to an acceptable level and that I still had break-through disease activity. I knew that.
It takes about ninety minutes to get to Indy, so I have lots of time to think on the drive. I like to listen to Christian radio when I drive alone because it keeps my mind on the right things, usually. Today, Moody radio was raising money, and they kept quoting the verse about having your treasure in heaven, where thieves do not break through and steal. This brought my mind back to the Remicade, and I wondered how long our finances could stand the expense after my husband retires. What I heard, or maybe a better way to describe it is that I felt it, was "Stop. Now." Immediately I knew I was being reminded that God has taken care of the situation so far, so why worry? And the worry went away, although I did feel humbled by the encounter.
My father, who I believe is a man of God, questions people who say they have been led by the Lord. He wants to know how they know it is God who is doing the leading. I don't know how it works for anyone else, but I am always reminded of Scripture or of something that the Lord has done for me or my family. Usually, the Voice interrupts abruptly to stop me from thinking in a way that I shouldn't be thinking anyway. I don't know what to say to my dad about that. I suppose, if what I heard was contrary to Scripture or urging me to do something that I knew was wrong, I would worry about my sanity. That is not the case though. It is more along the lines of "Be still and know that I am God." Sadly, I do need to be reminded of that on a regular basis.
How I wish I could be like Job who said he would trust God even if God killed him!
After I read my Bible, I went to school to tutor one of my students and then on to the rheumatologist in Indianapolis. He recently increased my medication so that it costs almost six thousand dollars every eight weeks. That doesn't matter so much right now because I have good insurance, but come September I will have the good old 80/20 kind, and twenty percent of that sum, not counting the monthly blood tests, is a LOT of money.
So, after the doc checked my joints and told me he was upping one of the cheaper DMARDs which he had lowered because it messed with my white blood count, I asked him if it was possible to have this disease without going bankrupt. He didn't answer. Instead, he proceeded to tell me how the meds had lowered my C-reactive protein to an acceptable level and that I still had break-through disease activity. I knew that.
It takes about ninety minutes to get to Indy, so I have lots of time to think on the drive. I like to listen to Christian radio when I drive alone because it keeps my mind on the right things, usually. Today, Moody radio was raising money, and they kept quoting the verse about having your treasure in heaven, where thieves do not break through and steal. This brought my mind back to the Remicade, and I wondered how long our finances could stand the expense after my husband retires. What I heard, or maybe a better way to describe it is that I felt it, was "Stop. Now." Immediately I knew I was being reminded that God has taken care of the situation so far, so why worry? And the worry went away, although I did feel humbled by the encounter.
My father, who I believe is a man of God, questions people who say they have been led by the Lord. He wants to know how they know it is God who is doing the leading. I don't know how it works for anyone else, but I am always reminded of Scripture or of something that the Lord has done for me or my family. Usually, the Voice interrupts abruptly to stop me from thinking in a way that I shouldn't be thinking anyway. I don't know what to say to my dad about that. I suppose, if what I heard was contrary to Scripture or urging me to do something that I knew was wrong, I would worry about my sanity. That is not the case though. It is more along the lines of "Be still and know that I am God." Sadly, I do need to be reminded of that on a regular basis.
How I wish I could be like Job who said he would trust God even if God killed him!
You can skip to the end and leave a response.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home