In Luci Swindoll's book NOTES TO A WORKING WOMAN, one of her chapters begins with the words, "One of the joys of growing older is that life validates what we already know but have been unable to define." Please bear that in mind as you read what I say next.
When I was younger, I felt injustice differently than I do now. I had lived almost thirty years before I met someone who could not afford electricity, and I was sorry for that. Children suffer without utilities. I did not understand how people could let that happen. I also felt guilty when people who didn't have the things I had would tell me that it wasn't fair that I had what I had because, well,....it ISN't fair.
I had someone get angry with me because my husband married me because he loves me and hers married hers to have babies. I have a friend, my best friend, actually, who has always been jealous because my husband talks to me and hers doesn't talk to her. While I think I can relate to her frustration a bit, her situation is not my fault, and that is something I have had to learn.
Lately, my friend has been making different comments. Different but snippy. She wanted to know why we didn't fly to see our son in VA since we were in the big bucks. (I think we may have actually climbed into the upper middle class, but I haven't checked the stats on that.) She made a comment about our garage the other day, a sour grapes kind of comment. We didn't have a garage when we lived in Ohio, although we always meant to get around to building one. She DOES have a garage. It is not my problem that it is not attached to her house or that her husband uses it for a workshop instead of a place to keep cars.
I love my friend, truly I do, but I am no longer willing to feel guilty about things over which I have no control. The fact of the matter is that SHE got to stay in Ohio with her family. HER grandchildren (1 1/2 at the moment) live in the same town that she does. Mine have moved from ten hours away to four hours away, for which I am thankful, but it is not the same as having them in the same town.
So. I just want to go on record here, where it is safe to say so, and say that I only want to feel guilty about things that are my fault, and there are often quite a few of them. I am a sinner. Fortunately, I am forgiven. That other part of the world, the fair one I felt was there when I was younger? I think it might only exist in heaven. So life isn't always fair. It won't be to me or to anyone else. And I AM sorry that such is the case.
But the unfairness is not always my fault. And there is not always something I can do to fix it.
When I was younger, I felt injustice differently than I do now. I had lived almost thirty years before I met someone who could not afford electricity, and I was sorry for that. Children suffer without utilities. I did not understand how people could let that happen. I also felt guilty when people who didn't have the things I had would tell me that it wasn't fair that I had what I had because, well,....it ISN't fair.
I had someone get angry with me because my husband married me because he loves me and hers married hers to have babies. I have a friend, my best friend, actually, who has always been jealous because my husband talks to me and hers doesn't talk to her. While I think I can relate to her frustration a bit, her situation is not my fault, and that is something I have had to learn.
Lately, my friend has been making different comments. Different but snippy. She wanted to know why we didn't fly to see our son in VA since we were in the big bucks. (I think we may have actually climbed into the upper middle class, but I haven't checked the stats on that.) She made a comment about our garage the other day, a sour grapes kind of comment. We didn't have a garage when we lived in Ohio, although we always meant to get around to building one. She DOES have a garage. It is not my problem that it is not attached to her house or that her husband uses it for a workshop instead of a place to keep cars.
I love my friend, truly I do, but I am no longer willing to feel guilty about things over which I have no control. The fact of the matter is that SHE got to stay in Ohio with her family. HER grandchildren (1 1/2 at the moment) live in the same town that she does. Mine have moved from ten hours away to four hours away, for which I am thankful, but it is not the same as having them in the same town.
So. I just want to go on record here, where it is safe to say so, and say that I only want to feel guilty about things that are my fault, and there are often quite a few of them. I am a sinner. Fortunately, I am forgiven. That other part of the world, the fair one I felt was there when I was younger? I think it might only exist in heaven. So life isn't always fair. It won't be to me or to anyone else. And I AM sorry that such is the case.
But the unfairness is not always my fault. And there is not always something I can do to fix it.
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