It is 2:49 in the morning in Indiana.
My phone has a habit of ringing in the middle of the night. It has for a long time. That's what happens when you have a husband who works for the railroad. That's why it rang at 1:36. My husband called some men out and left for work himself. I was almost asleep when the phone rang again. This time it was my daughter. One of her friends had just called her to tell her that a date had refused to take no for an answer. She had been raped. My daughter was on her way to pick the friend up and take her to the hospital.
Earlier in the evening, my daughter had told me how excited this girl was about her date. It was the first date she had had in quite a while. The girl wanted the perfect shoes and the perfect purse. Just like all of us when we dated, her world was full of possibilities. The date was for dinner and a movie. The friend's birthday is today.
How did things turn out so badly?
My daughter said the girl was afraid to call her own mom. That bothers me too. Evidently the girl thinks her mom is hypercritical. I know that I have been that way on occasion. Still, I hope my kids know that I would be there for them if they needed me. I don't know what happened to this girl to lead to this rape. Maybe if I was her mom I would wonder why she let the guy in her apartment. Maybe I would wonder why the first date didn't end with a chaste kiss at the door. But I think my first reaction would be rage that someone hurt my baby. The girl told my daughter that there was blood all over the couch, all over her.
I have prayed, am praying, for the victim. Am I horrible because, at the same time I am glad the victim is not my daughter?
I did, in fact, voice this thought to my daughter as she drove to her friend. That I was glad it was not her. There was a time when my daughter purposefully did not tell me things about her life that she knew would upset me. Would she have called me in a situation like this?
She thought for a long time before she answered. You see, the marriage that ended for her in January was an abusive one. Then she said that there were some things she couldn't tell me because she hadn't wanted me to see her in that light, to see her as a person who let herself be abused. But did she know that I would have been there for her? Yes. That she knew. And she said that her marriage had done a couple of things for her. She is not nearly as trusting as she used to be. While I am sad that her innocence was taken from her, maybe such knowledge will save her from the horror that her friend just faced, a night full of possibilities gone bad. And she said another thing. If ANY man EVER raises his hand to her in anger again, she WILL call the police.
My daughter's friend did call her mom. She will meet them at the hospital emergency room. My daughter and I talked until she knocked on her friend's door, until they were walking back out to the car in the dark parking lot. I turned on the radio and tried to put it all in perspective. But I couldn't go back to sleep. I will try again in a while.
Right now I need to pray for my daughter's friend. And her mom. And my daughter.
I am so glad it wasn't my daughter. And I grieve for her friend.
My phone has a habit of ringing in the middle of the night. It has for a long time. That's what happens when you have a husband who works for the railroad. That's why it rang at 1:36. My husband called some men out and left for work himself. I was almost asleep when the phone rang again. This time it was my daughter. One of her friends had just called her to tell her that a date had refused to take no for an answer. She had been raped. My daughter was on her way to pick the friend up and take her to the hospital.
Earlier in the evening, my daughter had told me how excited this girl was about her date. It was the first date she had had in quite a while. The girl wanted the perfect shoes and the perfect purse. Just like all of us when we dated, her world was full of possibilities. The date was for dinner and a movie. The friend's birthday is today.
How did things turn out so badly?
My daughter said the girl was afraid to call her own mom. That bothers me too. Evidently the girl thinks her mom is hypercritical. I know that I have been that way on occasion. Still, I hope my kids know that I would be there for them if they needed me. I don't know what happened to this girl to lead to this rape. Maybe if I was her mom I would wonder why she let the guy in her apartment. Maybe I would wonder why the first date didn't end with a chaste kiss at the door. But I think my first reaction would be rage that someone hurt my baby. The girl told my daughter that there was blood all over the couch, all over her.
I have prayed, am praying, for the victim. Am I horrible because, at the same time I am glad the victim is not my daughter?
I did, in fact, voice this thought to my daughter as she drove to her friend. That I was glad it was not her. There was a time when my daughter purposefully did not tell me things about her life that she knew would upset me. Would she have called me in a situation like this?
She thought for a long time before she answered. You see, the marriage that ended for her in January was an abusive one. Then she said that there were some things she couldn't tell me because she hadn't wanted me to see her in that light, to see her as a person who let herself be abused. But did she know that I would have been there for her? Yes. That she knew. And she said that her marriage had done a couple of things for her. She is not nearly as trusting as she used to be. While I am sad that her innocence was taken from her, maybe such knowledge will save her from the horror that her friend just faced, a night full of possibilities gone bad. And she said another thing. If ANY man EVER raises his hand to her in anger again, she WILL call the police.
My daughter's friend did call her mom. She will meet them at the hospital emergency room. My daughter and I talked until she knocked on her friend's door, until they were walking back out to the car in the dark parking lot. I turned on the radio and tried to put it all in perspective. But I couldn't go back to sleep. I will try again in a while.
Right now I need to pray for my daughter's friend. And her mom. And my daughter.
I am so glad it wasn't my daughter. And I grieve for her friend.
You can skip to the end and leave a response.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home