Since I landed in special education, I have worked with a lot of people who really care. I wouldn't say that they care more than regular ed teachers, but I do think they care differently. Since their class sizes are smaller (although in Indiana not remarkably so), they spend a lot of time honing in on the needs of their individual students. I know regular ed teachers do this too, but I don't think you can be as effective evaluating over one hundred students as you can at evaluating ten. Or thirty. And I haven't noticed that caring for that ten, or thirty, is any easier on the special ed teachers than the caring for over a hundred is on the regular ed.
This is why I was so moved when I sat in a conference the other day and heard a special ed person say, "At least it was this conference. I've been having nightmares about that other conference." Another teacher and I exchanged glances and nods of agreement at that. We all have been having nightmares over "that other" conference.
The reason for our nightmares is not really the kindergarten boy whose needs the conference will address, although we are certainly concerned about him. It is his mother, and the fact that she doesn't seem to see him for who he really is. I know....do any parents see their children as they really are? But this is different, although unfortunately not unusual. The student in question is a dear little boy who has both visual and developmental problems. He was placed in a general education kindergarten, and he has made great strides. He has more social skill and more self-help skills. He knows the days of the week and the months of the year and some other things that can be learned by rote. But he doesn't really have academic skills. They are developing; they just aren't there yet, and since this young man's development IS delayed, we don't really know how many of them will develop, or when.
All of his teachers have high hopes that this young man will someday be functionally literate. He turns six this month and cannot recognize any of his letters or his numbers or recite the spelling of his name. Part of this is certainly due to his vision problems, but not all of it is, and this is something that his poor mom just can't seem to grasp. She is firmly convinced that he knows the kindergarten vocabulary words that she has so lovingly put on flashcards for him, and she told me yesterday that she is sure he is at a first grade level in math. The other teachers and I agonize over helping her see her son for who he is. One of them told me today that the mom thinks if she just prays hard enough, he will "get better." That makes me so sad.
I believe in prayer; don't get me wrong. If God wants to make this boy "normal"(whatever that is), I know He is capable of doing so. But where is the boy in the meantime. He can't open all of the food in his lunchbox without help, although he is getting better. He doesn't put things in his backpack without prompting, and although he has been in the same classroom for six months now, he gets turned around trying to find his way to his room.
His teachers, of which I am one, think that his first grade needs would be better met in a Life Skills classroom where he could receive one-on-one attention in a relatively (as compared to the "regular" elementary classroom) uncluttered environment. His mom worries that such a placement will put him behind and make him different.
I am sure she knows things that are special about her son, but I wish she could see what we see. That he cares about her sooooo much! That he ALWAYS tries, no matter what we ask him to do. I wonder if she smiles at his humor the way we do. That boy makes puns! He has said to me that he doesn't like bees, but he makes sure to tell me that it is not the letter B that he doesn't like, but the "buzz-buzz" kind. I wonder she sees how hard he tries or only that he doesn't succeed.
I am not the mother of a handicapped child, and although I can theorize, I don't really know how I would have reacted if I had been. I am not sitting in judgment of this young man's family. I just wish I could find a way to help them appreciate their son the way we all deserve to be appreciated.
Just as he is.
This is why I was so moved when I sat in a conference the other day and heard a special ed person say, "At least it was this conference. I've been having nightmares about that other conference." Another teacher and I exchanged glances and nods of agreement at that. We all have been having nightmares over "that other" conference.
The reason for our nightmares is not really the kindergarten boy whose needs the conference will address, although we are certainly concerned about him. It is his mother, and the fact that she doesn't seem to see him for who he really is. I know....do any parents see their children as they really are? But this is different, although unfortunately not unusual. The student in question is a dear little boy who has both visual and developmental problems. He was placed in a general education kindergarten, and he has made great strides. He has more social skill and more self-help skills. He knows the days of the week and the months of the year and some other things that can be learned by rote. But he doesn't really have academic skills. They are developing; they just aren't there yet, and since this young man's development IS delayed, we don't really know how many of them will develop, or when.
All of his teachers have high hopes that this young man will someday be functionally literate. He turns six this month and cannot recognize any of his letters or his numbers or recite the spelling of his name. Part of this is certainly due to his vision problems, but not all of it is, and this is something that his poor mom just can't seem to grasp. She is firmly convinced that he knows the kindergarten vocabulary words that she has so lovingly put on flashcards for him, and she told me yesterday that she is sure he is at a first grade level in math. The other teachers and I agonize over helping her see her son for who he is. One of them told me today that the mom thinks if she just prays hard enough, he will "get better." That makes me so sad.
I believe in prayer; don't get me wrong. If God wants to make this boy "normal"(whatever that is), I know He is capable of doing so. But where is the boy in the meantime. He can't open all of the food in his lunchbox without help, although he is getting better. He doesn't put things in his backpack without prompting, and although he has been in the same classroom for six months now, he gets turned around trying to find his way to his room.
His teachers, of which I am one, think that his first grade needs would be better met in a Life Skills classroom where he could receive one-on-one attention in a relatively (as compared to the "regular" elementary classroom) uncluttered environment. His mom worries that such a placement will put him behind and make him different.
I am sure she knows things that are special about her son, but I wish she could see what we see. That he cares about her sooooo much! That he ALWAYS tries, no matter what we ask him to do. I wonder if she smiles at his humor the way we do. That boy makes puns! He has said to me that he doesn't like bees, but he makes sure to tell me that it is not the letter B that he doesn't like, but the "buzz-buzz" kind. I wonder she sees how hard he tries or only that he doesn't succeed.
I am not the mother of a handicapped child, and although I can theorize, I don't really know how I would have reacted if I had been. I am not sitting in judgment of this young man's family. I just wish I could find a way to help them appreciate their son the way we all deserve to be appreciated.
Just as he is.
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